Sunday, Jan. 31st... Al Qaeda Suffers Problems At The Top....U.S. At The Bottom...

Press Release: Suicide Bombers Union Negotiations


Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."Mr. Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that for members of the management but not 72 for the people who do the real work?"Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day jihad, in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were necessary to attract good, fanatical clerics. "How am I supposed to attract the best people if I can't compete with the private sector?" asked Mr. Bin-Laden.Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright after a failure to agree on orifice allocation quotas. One virgin, who refused to be named, was quoted as saying "I'll be Damned if I'm agreeing to anything like that........it's too much to swallow".Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is likely to continue working. However, some members of that branch will only be using waist-down explosives in order to express solidarity with their striking brethren.Spokespersons in Glasgow, Liverpool, Newcastle, Swindon, Nottingham, Jersey, Essex and the entire Australian continent stated that this would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in their areas anyway"


On a Very Serious Note:

I have watched the media and the American public, since Obama's state of the union address and I want to say that I'm extremely concerned for our future here in America. I don't actually think there are many Americans that realize Mr. Obama is continuously trying to operate a failed Presidency.
Let's take just a moment to look at the facts present....things which don't change as Mr. Obama's story does. The facts are... He knows nothing about economics, or he would realize that he continues to escalate our overspent budget daily with his failed stimulus package. He should stop that immediately, and return money earmarked for the future proposals to the treasury. He is historically illiterate, when the teleprompter is removed from his sight. He cannot speak eloquently without it and it would be extremely interesting to hear him speak impromptu about his own agenda.
He’s simply not one of us.... His profile is fuzzy and devoid of content, much like that of an image in the fog. He fails to prove his citizenship necessary to hold the office he somehow obtained while being a ghost figure...falling on our constitution to guarantee him the privacy of that information. Well Mister, I want to see those documents...Prove you are an American, for you spit in our face when abroad by bowing to foreign leaders and condemning our actions, belittling the United States of America, while embracing Muslim interest and openly stating you would stand up for them if the going got nasty and prevent stereotyping of them....and you did!
He doesn’t command our respect, in any part of his agenda and is unable to appeal to our own common sense because his notions of right and wrong are revolting, quite simply because things just don’t add up. Things do not exist in his descriptions of the world we live in...They don’t make sense, because they don’t correspond with our experience. In the meantime, while we’ve been struggling to figure out what this man is all about, he continues to piss everybody off around him...be it his political adversaries... or financiers, energy producers, banks, insurance executives, police officers, doctors, nurses, hospital administrators, post office workers, or anyone holding a blue collar job.
I think he has made it clear to Americans in general that the office of President has become far too powerful, with his appointing of special Czars to by-pass Congress carrying out his wishes, showing an abuse of power.
Obama has shown total lack of respect for the constitution, as he embarrassed our country by bowing to foreign leaders, and making that world-wide “Apology Tour” in which he condemmed America while on foreign soil. That is inexcusable and Unforgivable...
especially from the President of this great Nation.
Recently, during his delay in making a decision on sending more troops to Afghanistan, he was directly to blame for the deaths of American servicemen during the months he delayed those reinforcements. Those losses of American lives, may not have occurred, if we had given the proper support and equipment when it was asked for.
As Obama tries to protect Muslim interest world-wide, he has placed America in unbelievable debt as well as danger. America is so deeply in debt, since his one term in office, that it will take future generations many years to pay it off.
Obama has secured a place in the history books as America’s first African-American President and likewise...he will probably hold the distinction of being the worst thing that has ever happened to this country since it's beginning... a destiny which will no doubt be sealed along with his future...after the mid-term elections.
Can or must Mr. Obama absorb all the blame....hell no he shouldn't...Americans followed him like rats behind a Pied Piper...

Friday, Jan. 29th... Humor...the only falsehoods we can laugh at......Ever....

Lest we might laugh at ourselves......should we be brazen enough to laugh at the world... for we are born into the one... we then help to perpetuate......

Dissociated pressure Headline 1/28/10

Obama suggests that congress and senators
Pay him extra as a substitute health club trainer.

During his state of the union address last evening, President Obama made those in attendance
Sit and stand and sit and stand a record number 62 times. He made them clap 81 times and
Almost had the people present do cartwheels and jumping jacks.” He was a cross between
Richard Simmons and "My Wii Fit” said a 77 year old senior senator from Georgia,
Sen. Charles Rectangle said that” with last nights workout he will skip the DC gym this week
and totally forget about looting some Haitian drug store on the weekend”, Which inspired
the President to ask the people of congress and the house, to “kick in some benjamins”
towards the “health care prevention measures fund” as an example to the American public.

James O'Keefe Sent Home To Mommy And Daddy.

James O'Keefe, the 25-year-old conservative filmmaker, is ordered to live with his parents until the preliminary hearing set for Feb. 13th, where he is accused of screwing with phones in Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office.
I Yei, Yei......stuck living with your parents would make any felon cringe.....worse than the ten year sentence in the big house, if convicted of farking with their phones......
O'Keefe's only comment came through Twitter, where he wrote, "I am a journalist. The truth shall set me free."
Well buddy, I'll just tell you...The truth might set you free, but the Democrats will lock you up!!

Nancy Pelosi's Now Plans to Pass Gas as a new Health Care flatulence Reform.

After President Obama's slight-on-details, shoddy proposal in his State of the Union to passing gas to reform health care, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said unequivocally today that Congress will pass even greater amounts of flatulence for health care reform this year. She also described a process in which smaller eruptions will be moved through Congress quickly while the House and Senate continue to negotiate differences between their two gaseous reform health bills. She will announce the smaller fixes as soon as Democrats have decided which anti gas measures to pull out of the major gaseous reform bills."Our bowels are moving on many fronts, in fact, any front we have" she said. "If we go through the gate and the gates closed, we'll hang out and go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we'll pole vault to the top and go. If that doesn't work we'll parachute it in. We're going to get a gas health care reform and pass gas for the American people." The strategy of passing smaller pieces of lumpy flatulence legislation has emerged as negotiations between the House and Senate which have become bogged down in more gaseous fights over who will pay for gas reform and the gaseous framework for a new health care flatulence marketplace. Less controversial issues have become captive to winning approval for a exclusive flatulence bill overall.
Despite her insistence that comprehensive flatulence will pass, she said the House is not prepared to accept the Senate's burst as it is. "We're not talking about minor squeaks," she said, "We talking about huge blasts more serious than that."
In parting, Ms. Pelosi said she really got a shit job when she took this position under the President......
We say it serves her quite nicely!

NOW.......On a serious note......

A young physician by the name of Dr. Starner Jones recently sent a two-paragraph letter to the White House, which accurately puts the blame on a "Culture Crisis" instead of a "Health Care Crisis". It's worth a quick read:

Dear Mr. President: During my shift in the Emergency Room last night, I had the pleasure of evaluating a patient whose smile revealed an expensive shiny gold tooth, whose body was adorned with a wide assortment of elaborate and costly tattoos, who wore a very expensive brand of tennis shoes and who chatted on a new cellular telephone equipped with a popular R&B ringtone. While glancing over her patient chart, I happened to notice that her payer status was listed as "Medicaid"! During my examination of her, the patient informed me that she smokes more than one costly pack of cigarettes every day and somehow still has money to buy pretzels and beer. And, you and our Congress expect me to pay for this woman's health care? I contend that our nation's "health care crisis" is not the result of a shortage of quality hospitals, doctors or nurses. Rather, it is the result of a "crisis of culture", a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable to spend money on luxuries and vices while refusing to take care of one's self or, heaven forbid, purchase health insurance. It is a culture based in the irresponsible credo that "I can do whatever I want to because someone else will always take care of me". Once you fix this "culture crisis" that rewards irresponsibility and dependency, you'll be amazed at how quickly our nation's health care difficulties will disappear.
Respectfully,
STARNER JONES, MD

Thursday, Jan. 28th... At The Risk Of Sounding Impetuous and Opinionated....or Blunt and Uncaring...Let me Say I AM!!!!

Four men have been arrested in Louisiana the other day on suspicion of trying to gain access to Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu's New Orleans office, by posing as telephone repairmen. According to the FBI, the four men could each face up to 10 years and a fine of $250,000 if they are convicted, according to Politico reports.
James O'Keefe, the conservative filmmaker, made news last year after an undercover video he shot showed ACORN employees discussing prostitution, tax evasion, and smuggling with a couple posing as a pimp and a prostitute. What an opportunist to do??? Leaning on his spying, intrusive, predation in lieu of his entertaining video clips on "Smile, you're on candid camera"......Oh Gee...What's next.

French lawmakers said Tuesday they want to ban Muslim women from veiling their faces in public facilities, a plan applauded by some French Muslim women but criticized by Muslim leaders, who said it could provoke Islamic extremists in France and abroad. This was a ban that President Nicolas Sarkozy announced in June, stating that such garb "is not welcome" on French territory. He has since rescinded from committing himself to a full ban. Now Muslim religious leaders, along with many experts, warn that a "general and absolute" law banning face-covering attire in the streets would stigmatize all Muslims and have other dire consequences, even driving some to extremism. To me it's up to France to grow a set of balls big enough to say, "Fine Raghead, take it off or go home to your own country. That attire is not welcome here for security reasons and OUR belief that it is widely seen as an insult to gender equality and an offense to France's profoundly secular foundations."
Seems France's country and cultural beliefs suffer insults by foreign demand too and it SUCKS!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh yes, below I found what seemed to be the original draft of the real State of the Union message posted somewhere. I copied and pasted, but didn't get the authors name before losing the post location.....so I will simply mark it "author unknown", but it's as cute as can be and should have been his final delivery piece last night.

2010 STATE OF IMAGINATION:

I have created 3 million jobs; I single handedly have defeated the "man made disasters creators"; I have designed the Health Care System that EVERYBODY wanted; I scanned the Budget "line by line" and VETOED all pork from it; I have conducted BI-PARTISAN meetings and OPEN FORUMS televised in C-SPAN; I DO NOT have ANY tax cheaters in my administration; I would never betray my country by bringing enemy combatants to civilian courts to get the votes of the socialist elite; I would never call our own policemen stupid's because they are doing their jobs; I caught USAMA BIN LADEN YESTERDAY; I TALKED North Korea to negotiate with us; I have stopped IRAN from building NUKES; I brought back ALL troops from Iraq and Afghanistan; I AM NOT A LIAR!!!!

FUNNY.....

I didn't hear anything in that address last evening, but what he wanted other people to do, with the exception of threatening to use his veto power if they didn't do things. He however, had no answers, supported by fact and nothing to offer the American people but the same eloquent promises that this same brilliant speaker and speech maker did to get elected originally.

Let's dissect his State of the Union....

His budget freeze...... will hardly put a dent into our $1.35 trillion deficit.

His budget commission...... will have no real power or authority and is worthless.

His proposal to cut the capital gains tax...... a step in the right direction – but it will fall far short.

Health care legislation ...... incoherent, wildly expensive, unpopular, and would do enormous damage to our economy.

Cap-and-Trade Legislation...... a real job killer.

Castigates Washington for being "unable or unwilling to solve any of our problems"......Yet he champions an agenda concentrating unprecedented power there.

The speech was quite defensive, petulant, backward-looking, condescending, petty and graceless. For a man of failure during his first year, he exhibited unsurpassed self-righteousness preaching constant self-justification. Also, making statements about how one side tries it's best to belittle the other and that is not how it is to be in government, that is exactly what his administration does daily, if not with certain delight....AND after spending an unprecedentedly enormous amount of taxpayers money, he castigated the political class for "leaving a mountain of debt" to future generations, topping it off by saying he would not pass this one to our future youth. This statement made, as a condescending, nasty and impetuously, selfish witch, the likes of Nancy Pelosi, casually sits directly behind him. After the wanton waste of tax payer's money she blew on attending the Climate Summit Meeting in Copenhagen last month, without being called to accountability by Obama, he should have been ashamed to speak in her presence. She turned it into a multi-million dollar vacation for her, family and friends at the cost of the financially strapped taxpayer's expense.

Barack Obama was last night, in short, trying to recapture the magic from his presidential campaign.

Is it really a surprise that this president, who was running as the historic, affirmative action, first black... is not just incompetent, by everyone's standards, but also perverse in his beliefs and hidden agendas? Perverse, to the point of protecting against stereotyping Muslims so intently, that we deliberately don't check the passenger lists for young Muslim males who were brought up in radicalized cultures, even if they are already in the terror database, even if that individual's family members alert officials of his radical actions, even if they buy a one-way ticket with untraceable cash and don't check any luggage at all on their one-way flights from Nigeria to Detroit?

Obama's anti-terror policies are not just incompetent. They are suicidal and ridiculous. Go ahead and call me a racist....but race or color has nothing to do with it...Stupid is stupid and foolish is foolish...black or white!

I'm afraid that this inexperienced, petulant and zealous man will not be good for our country...Not now...Not ever.

Tuesday, Jan. 26th... Americans Need To Quit Portraying Such Little Wimps...

Sometimes I can't understand what goes through Americans minds. Other times I know there has to be holes in those minds which impedes them from ever being capable of even holding an once of intelligence! What the hell are they thinking???
Why the hell are we allowing lawyers to even mull over the legality of proposed attempts to kill an "American citizen", Anwar al Awlaki, who is believed to be part of the leadership of the al Qaeda group in Yemen behind a series of terrorist strikes. Recent intelligence reports and electronic intercepts, show he played an important role in recruiting the accused (ACCUSED?????) "underwear bomber" Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Awlaki also carried on extensive e-mail communication with the accused (ACCUSED?????) Fort Hood shooter, Major Nidal Hasan, prior to the attack that killed 12 soldiers and one civilian. In the case of Awlaki, born in New Mexico and a college student in Colorado and California, a strike aimed to kill him, would stretch current Presidential authority given to the CIA and the Pentagon to pursue terrorists anywhere in the world. "They have trained women, believed to be connected to al Qaeda in Yemen, and may have a non-Arab appearance and be traveling on Western passports. What I want to know is this.....Do we still recognize treason toward the United States? Isn't the penalty for treason death by hanging??? Isn't this "Bastard mastermind", Mr. "Undies Boy" and the "Ft. Hood Rambo" all traitors to the United States of America? Were they not ALL caught red handed??? One killing recruits at will in front of witnesses....one with burnt genitals in front of passengers on that plane.... and now this Bastard with ties to both, on record. What is wrong with these lawyers and the President? Is it because PinocchiObama won't come down on this Muslim Bastard because he too is a Muslim and has openly made the statement he would stand up for them, when the going got ugly......If so, then Obama is a traitor also....One in the highest regard and holding the key to America's future in a clenched terrorist fist...laughing behind our backs! These Bastards are all defecating on the constitution of the United States, freedom and the graves of all Americans who have given their lives to protect and preserve our freedoms. It's time Americans get off their "Politically correct" asses and take the bull by the horns and execute these guys on the spot when caught red handed. Perhaps terrorists will get the idea that it's not too smart to try to stick their dick in a raging bull.

Oh yeah....now there is another bid to install full body scanners in all airport security locations across the country. Of course there are idiots bitching about someone being able to see your body assets, outlined on the scanner. Perhaps you would rather not have some person in a little booth look at your completely white body shape, lacking all real detail, so the guy behind you can board your plane with another large, hidden package capable of blowing you to kingdom come.... scattering that body of yours, all over the place and causing clean-up crews to gather your parts in a basket with all the others. (We'll remind them not to look at your private parts when they pick them up.....Ok?) THINK ABOUT IT YOU STUPID MORON. Plastic explosives and composite guns are their choice of weapons...and this is the only way they can possibly find them unless you'd rather be felt up by someone & exposed to manual body cavity searches...... (Perhaps you're a pervert) I vote to let them see what ever they need to see, on the little x-ray screen, to make sure the guy or gal across from me, on the plane doesn't want to snuff us all.

Here's a little something for all Americans to think about the next time you think you have an emergency and want the entire world to respond and grab you by the cuff of your neck,pulling you out of the dilemma, giving you tons of money and good stuff. Maybe you should try to be a real American....one with guts and fortitude like these Americans......
This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western part of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan after a severe snow storm ... Seen in The Mining Journal, Marquette, MI.
***** WEATHER BULLETIN*****
Up here in the Northern part of Michigan we just recovered from a Historic event --- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 44" inches of snow and winds to 90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands of area residents.




FYI: Obama did not come. FEMA did nothing. No one howled for the government. No one blamed the government. No one even uttered an expletive on TV. Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit. Our Mayor's did not blame Obama or anyone else. Our Governor did not blame Obama or anyone else either. CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or even report on this category 5 snow storm.





Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards. No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House. No one looted. Nobody and I mean NOBODY, demanded the government do something. Nobody expected the government to do anything either. No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera. No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Streisand, No Brad Pitts, No Hollywood types to be found.

Nope, we just melted the snow for water. We sent out caravans of SUV's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars. The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny. Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families... Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.

We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns. We put on extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die". We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for 'sittin at home' checks. Even though a Category 5 blizzard of this scale is not usual, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

The world does Not owe you a living!

Oh, while we have all the do gooders in one big pile with this Haiti thing going on...since there are so many generous giving people amassing large sums of money for the Haitians, which is fine......but could they pick up on the plight of the homeless, jobless, penniless Americans stuck in tent city on Long Island???? Perhaps they would also want to help raise money for all the Louisiana folks still suffering from the Katrina hurricane...still stuffed in campers in fields near the city. They want helped too.....
Just once, try to remember all the folks jammed in tents and campers, and then forgotten, here in the United States... just once..... Because many over seas businesses took the jobs, homes and the food right out of their mouths and then we go to those countries and pour food, money and help all over them as if it were a dessert topping.... And that's SHAMELESS......